Brain Break: Child Development

Welcome back, Brainiac! Today, I wanted to answer a question I have been hearing a lot lately related to children's behavior and development.

As a licensed professional counselor who predominantly works with children, I often get asked, "what makes kids act the way they do?". Here are some thoughts for your consideration.

All humans are unique beings that are a beautiful bundle of complexities- from their biology to their environment, and everything in between. Often parents and family members try to consider everything, from the minute to the massive factors, that could possibly impact who their child, or a youth they are working with, grows up to be and this can become overwhelming.

There is no doubt that child development and understanding behavior are made up of a multitude of factors; I have done my best to summarize them for you here:

1. Communication skills- verbal and non-verbal, relative to chronological and developmental age

2. Cognitive development- how they think and problem solve

3. Physical development- size, gross motor skills, sensory processing, etc.

4. Emotional development- temperament, attitude, regulation, etc.

5. Social development- interactions with friends, family, and peers; patterns in behavior, i.e. assertive versus passive, etc.

6. Self-awareness- level of independence and expression of identities

7. Work habits- follow through, frustration tolerance, attention span, stress level, delay of gratification, etc.

8. Adjustment- level of resiliency and flexibility under stress 

9. Sexual & moral development

It is safe to assume that if you are seeing behavioral outbursts or disruptions in development in any of these areas, the child in question is experiencing lagging skills related to one or more category of development. For example, if a child is struggling to interact in an age- and situation-appropriate way with peers, it is a safe bet that they are experiencing some lagging social skills, and possibly some lagging skills in other areas as well.

Once the adults in a child's life have identified what area of development the lagging skills are related to and have a clear sequence of the behavior(s) that are stemming from these lagging skills (i.e., the who, what, when, where, and why), they can seek out professional support and/or attempt to create learning and skill-building opportunities for the youth specific to these areas.

The biggest mistake I see adults make in these instances is assume that the child's behavior is willful and take their behavior as a personal attack. When kids are not doing well in any given environment or situation, it is due to a lack of skill, not willful intent to act out, cause problems, or get in trouble.

TLDR take aways

1. Child development and normative behavior are made up of an overwhelming number of factors.

2. While every child is unique and therefore their experiences and development will be an individual process, development and behavioral patterns do tend to fall into predictable categories.

3. If a child is not doing well in a certain environment or situation, it is due to a lack of skill in a specific developmental category, not willful intent to cause problems or harm.

Stay tuned to this space for more posts and information about upcoming events! Be kind to your mind, Brainiacs- even Serabellum Superstars need brain breaks.